The Ice Cream Thief
by Bamfderson
Summary: Sam entertains the idea of painting himself green and following Blaine around repeatedly poking him until they're best friends again, but somehow he doesn't think that would be very professional for McKinley High's senior vice-president. So he goes for the obvious, easier route... Sort of.


**A/N: Some Blam! I'm addicted to this pairing a little... Please review if you like it? :) **

* * *

Sam meant it when he said he was flattered by the attention- he really is. Blaine's half-adoring, half-why-the-hell-do-I-like-this-guy look that he gets in his eyes every time he slips into his Obama impression is kind of cute, really. It's not weird. Not to Sam, at least.

It's just the rest of the club that seems to think it is.

Tina seems the most freaked out by it all, which isn't really surprising after she had her own crazy crush a few weeks back. Sam still catches her glancing at Blaine in glee once in a while, or pointedly avoiding his eye when she sings whatever sappy song she feels like this week. Still, whenever she sees Blaine smile at Sam, she totally glares at him for the next hour.

(Sometimes, Sam used to put his arm around Blaine and pull him close, just so he could watch her squirm.)

Ryder and Jake are another story- their raised eyebrows whenever Blaine gets a little too bouncy around Sam is actually kind of annoying. And they're not exactly ones to talk- Sam's totally caught them making some seriously weird faces at each other across the choir room before. And they've both kissed Marley before, which means they've probably accidentally swapped spit. Maybe.

Artie's the coolest about it, trying to sneak hints into conversation that weren't exactly subtle. Although it's not like Blaine was subtle in the first place- Sam swears he's started stocking up on chapstick just so he has enough to keep them both in constant supply. When he thinks about it, _really _thinks about it until his head hurts, he should have seen Blaine's attraction to him from that alone.

Blaine's nice, he really is, and he's his best friend, so they spend like, a _ton _of time together. Plus, he's into dudes, so the whole 'crush' thing should have pretty much been a given. As much as Santana complains about his lips and Brittany makes weird requests that he grows his hair longer, he knows he's pretty hot- so he can't really be mad at Blaine for it.

Still, things have been kind of awkward since the whole guilty pleasures week confession thing, and they haven't really had a chance to just hang out like friends. Blaine's sort of been avoiding him, skirting around the glee club and ducking around hallways at every chance. And Sam just doesn't know _why. _

'He's probably just embarrassed- even with your little sickeningly cute pep talk last week, unrequited love is a total downer.' Kitty cuts in, moving to lean on the lockers next to Sam. He's gotten used to this, her own strange form of friendship which includes showing up in the weirdest places and pasting that Bruce-from-Finding-Nemo grin on her face.

'He doesn't _love _me; he's just got a crush. I don't get why it's such a big deal,' he says, exasperation leaking into his tone as he notices Blaine disappear around the corner in a bright flash of red and white, 'I said I was fine, we hugged it out, done- right?!' She shakes her head, looking at him like he's a kitten in one of those cutesy Youtube videos.

'Doesn't mean the feelings are gone, Evans- haven't you ever liked someone? Just because it's cool between you guys doesn't mean it's _cool, _you know?' With that she walks away, pausing to chat to Marley before she heads to chemistry. Blaine's head peeps around the corner once more, ducking back when he sees Sam still lingering.

He decides he'll figure it out later. Right now he has math, which for the first time ever is less confusing that whatever's going on with his friend.

* * *

The thing is, he misses Blaine. Misses him more than he thought he would- even watching The Avengers for the millionth time brings a pang of pain with it, because without Blaine to quote the Iron Man lines, who is he supposed to show his Captain America impression to? Glee becomes unbearable without Blaine slumped next to him, making silly comments until one or both of them gets the giggles so bad that Mr Schue sends them out to control themselves. Sam even starts buying raspberry chapstick, just because it reminds him of Blaine's dumb hair gel, and he _knows _that's pretty lame, but it still makes him feel better.

Everyone else figures out what's happening before he does, which just makes everything a million times worse.

'I'm breaking up with you.' Brittany's blunt about it, placing a hand on his shoulder and smiling in her own easy way.

'Wait- why?! What'd I do?'

'Nothing. It's just obvious that you're pretty much hung up on someone else, and I think it'd be cute, so we should break up. Also there's a girl in my history class that keeps staring at me and her boobs are like, _awesome._'

'…Right.' It hurts, a little, but not as much as he thought it would. He's barely seen Britt this week, too preoccupied with Blaine, and he guesses this was coming for a while. Plus he's seen that girl- her boobs kinda are awesome.

'We'll be friends though, okay? I mean, bicorns gotta stick together!' Ignoring his perplexed look, she kisses him on the cheek and bounces away. Probably to history class. And boobs.

* * *

'Sooo… Blaine talking to you yet? You seem kind of mope-y so I guess... not?' Jake asks one day, leaning against the wall and staring up at Sam.

'I'm not mope-y.'

'You definitely are- fix it, bro. Just talk to him.'

'I'm trying to-'

'Try freakin' harder man, you'll get through to him eventually. I had to pull out all the stops just to get Marley to even look at me.' Sam sighs loudly and scuffs his toe against the floor, his voice growing quieter.

'I just don't know what to do so we can be friends again.'

'…You want to be friends?' Jake looks confused, his brow furrowing. Sam cocks his head to the side.

'What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I do.'

'You don't- you know what, nothing, dude, nevermind.' Jake shakes his head and walks away, laughing to himself as he goes.

Two days later, after a ton of one-line text messages, hundreds of attempts to chase the other boy in school just to coax him into a conversation, and one ignored 'poke' on Facebook (which okay, considering past events, wasn't the best idea), He's got no closer to finding out why Blaine is acting like Sam is kryptonite, dodging him at every turn and cringing when he gets close. For a minute Sam entertains the idea of painting himself green and following Blaine around repeatedly poking him until he talks to him, but somehow he doesn't think that would be very professional for McKinley High's senior vice-president. So he goes for the obvious, easier route.

* * *

The easier route, he thinks, probably shouldn't involve him sneaking through the school in his tightest black clothes and darkest sunglasses. Being a supervillain is _hard, _and not just because of Sue's hidden security cameras. For starters, the front door to the school is locked, and he nearly rips his sweater on the windowpane of the cafeteria when he squeezes through it. Then, when he picks himself up off the floor and gets into his sneaky stance, it takes _forever _to find the huge freezer at the back of the room. Then he notices his shoes are untied, and untied shoes are _not _a good fashion statement for anyone, never mind a supervillain- Blaine says so all the time. Opening the door, he lets an evil grin spread over his face.

Okay, so being bad can be pretty fun.

* * *

Blaine's in the library when Sam finds him, a pout on his face as he flicks through a textbook as thick as Sam's arm. He looks confused, presumably studying for the huge assignment they got saddled with a couple days before, and totally lost, sitting at a table surrounded by empty chairs. Sam wipes the smile from his face and bites his lip, sitting heavily in the chair next to his friend. Blaine's chin tilts up, the confusion growing stronger with a hint of terror.

'Dude, we have a problem. A catastrophic problem. I need you. I need…' Sam pauses, staring Blaine in the eyes and leaning a little closer. He notices Blaine's eyes widen, his gaze flicker down to his lips for a second and snap back up with a blush.

'Nightbird.' When Sam whispers this Blaine pays attention, nodding as grim resolution sets over his face.

'What do we need to do?' he asks, slamming the heavy book shut and reaching for his bag.

_Success._

* * *

'Um… Sam?'

'Yeah?'

'What kind of supervillain steals ice cream?' He looks totally perplexed, sifting through the frozen vegetables and pizza as if the missing tub will magically re-appear.

'A really bad one. Dude, we have to solve it- the case of the missing ice cream.'

Blaine looks at him a little incredulously and smirks, staring again into the open freezer before he straightens up.

'Look, it might be nothing- it's just one tub, I think we should wait to see if anything else disappears, okay?'

Sam deflates, nodding at Blaine and forcing a smile.

_Damn._

* * *

By the end of the week, Sam decides something has to give. His room is freezing, all of the windows open, fans placed around, and all because of the _stupid _ice cream.

It's everywhere, piled up until it's nearly as tall as he is, boxes and boxes of raspberry ripple and vanilla and chocolate. The Hummel-Hudson's freezer downstairs is packed to the brim too, and he can only feed so much of it to Finn before the guy starts suspecting Sam has a fetish or something.

Honestly, he's just sick of all of the freaking _ice cream. _

At least Blaine is taking it seriously now; he's started tracking the culprit, coming up with more complicated scenarios every day. Sam's favorite so far is the one where the neighborhood cats supposedly developed a taste for cold treats and developed opposable thumbs just so they could open the heavy freezer door. Blaine's still acting oddly though, sharing theories then rushing off before there's even a chance to comment on them.

Sam sniffs and reaches for the nearest tub of ice cream. It looks like he's never getting his friend back, not fully. His evil plan didn't work, and now all he has is a room full of ice cream and weird dreams about cats with thumbs. He pries off the lid of the massive tub and spoons out a chunk of ice cream, sulkily shoving it into his mouth.

Of course it would be _raspberry_.

That's how Blaine finds him in the end, curled on his bed hugging a tub of stolen ice cream. Really, if Sam looks back, he couldn't have picked a worse moment.

'Sam! Sam! I found the cats-' Blaine bursts through the door, pausing when he takes in the sheer amount of ice cream stacked around Sam's room.

'Umm…'

'It's you? You're the ice cream thief?' Sam can't do anything but nod slowly, his spoon halfway to his mouth and piled high with the offending food. Blaine looks genuinely and understandably lost for all of twenty seconds, and then collapses to sit heavily next to Sam.

'Are you making ice cream portraits now or what?'

'No- I,'

'Because the macaroni was enough, Sam,'

'It's not like- I didn't-'

'But then why the whole Nightbird thing?'

'I wanted to-'

'Why the- Sam, just... why?!'

And then Blaine's staring at him, still shocked but mostly just curious. It takes Sam less time than it really should to close the distance, to watch as hazel eyes widen further when their lips finally touch. Blaine doesn't respond immediately, too shocked to kiss back, but after a moment he does, and okay, kissing Blaine is _awesome. _Definitely more awesome even than being a supervillain for a week. They pull apart, shivering in the cold of the room, and Sam works up the nerve to direct a cheeky smile at Blaine when he has an idea.

'Hey B, you know why I stole ice cream?' His voice is rougher than usual, whispered across the inch of space between their faces. Blaine cocks his head, a hopeful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

'Because you totally make me melt.'

Blaine swats him on the arm and pushes him backwards, meeting him in another heated kiss and whispering against Sam's soft mouth.

'Dork.'


End file.
